Frank Castellano is "The Healer"Feb 09, 2022
February 15th, 2022
Episode 11: Frank Castellano, The Healer
Frank Castellano is a well-known precognitive clairvoyant and clairaudient psychic medium. It means he can see and hear in the future and communicate with those who have passed on. In this episode he explains his gifts and abilities, plus spells out what purpose is for people.
This episode is for you if:
-You want to understand what a precognitive clairvoyant psychic medium is
-You want to hear about Frank's gift
-You're really into spirituality
What's in this episode?
This episode is a deep dive into the psychic abilities of Frank Castellano, the well-known psychic in Nashville who people wait more than a year to get a reading.
You'll be mesmerized as he describes what it's like each day in his head. Frank also details how he straddles the two worlds: physical and spiritual.
In his Best Time/Worst Time section, Frank explains how he got into the military and began a difficult time in his life where he was disconnected from purpose and his abilities.
It's a fascinating episode!
📝 Show Notes & Mentions 📝
Nichole Nordeman River God
Frank was born in the caul and mentions an Italian tradition of Benandanti
0:00 - Intro
1:06 - Frank’s purpose
5:06 - How to explain Frank’s abilities
14:14 - Frank’s first brush with his gifts
17:41 - Frank feels energy impressions
20:12 - When he chooses to share
21:51 - Frank works with police
25:13 - Frank was in the military
30:54 - Does Frank get it wrong?
32:44 - Frank teaches Lauren about herself
36:20 - Purpose is you intention
39:41 - Best time in Frank’s life
41:11 - The worst time in Frank’s life
46:10 - Frank’s turning point
- Frank Castellano is a well-known psychic medium. He's a sixth-generation clairvoyant and had his first vision when he was only a few years old. He can see and hear the future. He can also communicate with people who've passed on. Over the years, he's worked with police agencies and investigators to solve crimes, but mainly he does readings for regular people, and they wait a long time to see him, about 14 months right now, but that's always growing. I met Frank for the very first time ever for this interview. And the thing I saw with him immediately is just how warm and accepting he is. He's a hugger and he's such a bright light. More than anything, he brings healing to people through his words and visions. So this is Frank Castellano, the healer. What do you think your purpose is?
- My purpose is to help people learn lessons. That's really my purpose, but I find I constantly challenge things. That's how I approach things. So astrology, I love astrology. I love learning about astrology, but I study something called constellational astrology. Astrology's a beautiful system, but that's never been updated. When we look at the stars now. The stars have changed. Every 70 years, there's something called precession of the equinox and things change. And so I study something called constellational astrology, which is sort of a combination of astrology and astronomy. And that works for me. That is what feeds me. So my work is to really help people find their most authentic self. And part of that is, to me, I would say balance is the key to everything because you kind of have to like body building. You have to push beyond your limit. If you push too far, the muscle's gonna atrophy. It'll break down. It's not good. So you have to find that balance. When you something to a podcast, when you are reading a book, when you're taking a class, you have to take that information and you have to balance it with, is this feeding me? Is this true for me? Is it not? When you're taking advice, it's the same thing. A musician has to do that same thing. Has to be like, "Here is my truth, but it has to also be received by my audience." So in January, they had asked me to do a sermon at this church and I researched my sermon and I read the Bible, I got all these, it was amazing. Like it just so cleaned up. So I was meditating that morning and Spirit said, "Yeah, we're not gonna talk about that, so you just throw that away." And I was like, "Are you shitting me?"
- All that work?
- I was like, "Oh my gosh." And they were like, "We need to talk about truth." And what I realized is balance. If I give my truth, but it's only my truth and it's not what people need to hear, then the message is empty. But if I speak to what they need to hear, but I don't believe it, I haven't lived it, I haven't embodied it, then it's gonna fall on deaf ears. It's gonna be an empty message. So everything in life really is a balance. We have to show up and be forgiving to people. But we're not gonna be a doormat. Where does compassion and strength, where does that meet and boundaries? So really my work, not just with my work, but my life's goal is I wanna help people learn. And I don't wanna push you. I need to push you. I need to push you to like, what are you doing? But not push you too far where you start to break down. And that is remembering who you are spiritually. So everything that we do that is not in alignment with our values, that's okay. Like you're learning, but we're getting better. We gotta push to get it better. We gotta refine. And everything is about that. Finding that balance for yourself, how much energy do I give out and how much energy do I retain? Because if I just retain, then I'm withholding and I can control and withhold and that creates walls. Does that actually help people? Not really. Does it help yourself? Not at all. So it's that kind of balance is what it is.
- How do you explain your abilities? I mean, because just saying that you're a psychic medium doesn't cover all of it. I mean, you have so many words that you use. Explain all of them to me.
- So at a young age, I could hear things. I always could hear things. I always knew things. I ended up developing vision clairvoyance over time when I was young. There are a lot of ways to break down psychic ability. To me, intuition and psychic ability sort of are two very different things. Intuition is listening to your own path, listening to your voice. There are many people, it's that balance. There are people that are gonna tell me what to do. How does that resonate to my truth? Because it might be true. It may not be true. It may be that I don't want to listen because I'm uncomfortable. How do I push through that uncomfortability to my truth? So it's a balance. That's intuition. Psychic ability is a little bit different. It is being aware of everything that's going on. The physical, the mental, the emotional, and most importantly, the spiritual. What's going on? There may be ancestors around us. There may be guidance that's telling us, "Hey, you need to pay attention to this." So as a psychic, my role in this world is for me to just listen. I'm constantly listening. As a medium, I'm here to communicate. So I'm here to communicate and straddle two worlds. It's that balance of I live in the physical world, but I take my guidance from the spiritual world. My spirit guide, Johnny, said to me one day, "Don't get a big head, Frank. Like, don't get a big head." And I was like, "Okay." He goes, "We can shut you off and turn someone else on." And I was like-
- Don't it was that.
- I was like, "Y'all can do that?"
- It's your whole identity wrapped right there.
- It is. It is. And I think that was a really good lesson is it is like I've orchestrated my life around this. And he's like, "No, it's the work that's being done through you." So being a psychic medium, I'm just a little bit more sensitive. I listen a little bit more. I'm more aware. And if I can help you with that awareness, if I'm like, "Hey, I just gotta let you know there's an angel with you. There's a spirit guide telling me this. There's showing me this." Do I go up to people? I don't go up and tell them everything. I go, "Hi, my name is Frank. I'm a psychic medium. And I have a message for you. I don't want any money. I just want a little bit of your time. Would you be open to it?" I have this whole thing that I go through.
- 'Cause people are probably like-
- Well, they're like, I know some people are gonna be like "No, who the hell are you? I don't want some crazy person talking to me." And I'm like, "Okay." So you have to be ethical about it as well. And it doesn't have to be so heavy.
- Yeah, it doesn't have to be. I like that. Okay, so what about your clairvoyance? What about the other words that you talk about? Their sentience?
- So clairvoyance is being able to see. I can see events in my head, pictures, movies. I have aura vision as well. So I can see colors coming off of people. I use this, I do energy work. Energy work is healing the energetic system. Everybody has, just like how we have different things that make up our physical body, our neuromuscular system, our skeletal system, we have things that make up our energetic body. We have meridians, we have vayus, We have nadis, we have chakras. And with clairvoyance, I'm able to see the energy that's around people. So I'm also able to kind of move things around and give space to clear. So if someone has sort of dark energy around their shoulders, maybe they're carrying the weight of the world on their shoulders. If they have a dim energy on their lower back, maybe they don't feel supported. And so I'm able to use that to heal. The clairvoyance I can turn down to a point. My husband likes to go see Belmont basketball. He graduated from there. He's an alumni. He loves it. It's very difficult for me to be in a crowd-
- I bet.
- Because I am constantly receiving information, this person needs this. The information that I receive, isn't what people need to do, it is what people need to heal. He here's the healing that you need. Here's what you're looking for. Here's what you are thirsty for. So it's not this person is going to have this experience. It doesn't help people if I just go up to someone and say, "This is what you're gonna go through." It's more, "Here's the healing that needs to happen. Here's the information that you need to know regarding the situation." So when I'm in a crowd like that, I have to dim it so I don't get overwhelmed. My clairaudience. That is something that's kind of constantly on. I'm constantly hearing. One of the ways that I combat that sometimes is I'll just make noise.
- Oh, wow.
- I am being either really quiet or walking around the house.
- You're like humming to yourself, singing.
- Making noise. And it is a way to rebalance, so I don't constantly hear.
- Now, tell me what you're hearing when you're alone? When you're alone, what are you hearing? 'Cause I can understand you hearing lots to things, you're in a room with three other people, there's another person out there. I can understand that around other people. But when you're alone, what are you hearing?
- Insights about the world. So a few weeks ago, my husband had left. He had gone, it was a Sunday morning, he had gone to church and I was in the shower. This was the start of Hanukah, which I believe was maybe the Saturday before or something. And I'm in the shower and I am hearing, "Well, everything's about light. Everything is about light." Hanukah is about light and Diwali, which is a Hindu festival, is about light. And I'm getting all of this information, all these voices telling me this is why humanity has kind of constructed and created the season of light as we're going towards the winter solstice. This is why. So oftentimes when I'm alone, I'll hear stuff about humankind, human nature, what we're going through. If I am somewhere where there is pain, what I've witnessed here, the South has a lot of hurt and a lot of pain. There's been a lot of sadness.
- There's so many wrongs done in the South.
- And what I hear a lot is the land that is like, "We have not been paid attention to. There's been many lives that have lost and no one has healed us. The Trail of Tears." I mean, think about it, the Trail of Tears. It's crying, it's sorrowful. So I hear a lot from the land. What I like to hear the most is I like to be alone with my dog. I like to be alone with animals. Animal energy. I receive animal information clairvoyantly. I don't hear all the time 'cause they don't speak that way, but I will hear it, receive it visually, and they are always at peace. They're always positive. They're always reassuring, loving. But I've never heard by myself or with others, anything that was empty. I don't hear empty messages. So fear to be fearful or just hate. I often hear, "Here's why I'm so angry," or, "This is why this house is haunted." It's because it was hurt or it was forgotten or this has happened here. So I hear more healing that needs to happen. And that's what I believe that we're all here to do. We're here to heal each other, the way that stones tumble in a tumbler. Put a little bit of water in there and it spins and it spins and it spins and our motion of rubbing against each other isn't to break each other, it's to smooth each other out.
- Like the river rock, right, over the years as the water kind of just smooths it. That's interesting.
- There is a song by Nichole Nordeman called "River God" that's about that. And it really is sort of just smoothing us over. Our experiences in God, smoothing us over.
- Hmm, help me understand as a child how you began to hone these. I mean, you were already hearing all of these things as a young boy. Did you have any idea that the history that your family had with these gifts?
- Probably first initial experience that I had, we had an aunt and a few cousins died in a building fire. The story that I was told was someone went into this apartment building, lit the building up from the basement. I wasn't aware of that, but I saw their energies at home after they had passed. Luckily my aunt, my mom's sister came to live with us when I was born. I don't know the full details as to all that, but she's got clairvoyant gifts. And so she came in, it was sort of predicted that I was gonna have abilities. I'm the sixth-generation medium in my family, and when I was born, I had this sort of this after birth, this caul that was wrapped around me. And that's sort of an old Italian sign of the .
- When you're born in the caul?
- Yeah, you're a little bit different, a little bit gifted, touched. And so she came to live with us I believe for that reason. To just see if I was gonna be a little bit different. I'm a lot fucking different.
- And to help you through it? Okay.
- She's the one that really helped to kind of hone my gift and my abilities. When you start experiencing that as a child, obviously it's like really scary. I don't know what's going on.
- I'm sure.
- Why are these charred figures in the living room?
- Oh gosh.
- What I've learned from her 'cause she's the one that really taught me how to focus, how to breathe, how to ask for things, how to receive things mentally instead of seeing everything around a person. So she really helped me with that. But her approach was really warm. These being all they want is healing. All they want is a voice. She really me to see beyond these wounds. So now when someone is coming through and perhaps they died in a violent way, perhaps there was a lot of sadness that was unresolved, we can get really cut up in what happened. And we forget their story, what was going on with them. She stayed with us until I was about maybe six or seven. And through all those years, she helped me hone my abilities. And then she went back to live in Arizona and I grew up and then at about 13 or 14, she really started my formal training as to how to read. How to read tarot cards 'cause people need the show. People need to see where are you coming up with this stuff. What's the car accident card? So she's the one that really taught me how to do that. And also taught me to see from others perspectives. So if there's someone that's coming in that has been hurt, let's see from their perspective. She's really the one that really honed me.
- Help me understand what happens for you when you walk into like say this area? Or I should say this building. Do you feel an energy off of the building before you even walk in?
- I get impressions. What goes on with me on my daily life as I get in my shower, as I get in my car. I'm already having feelings.
- Are you bombarded? Is it a bombardment? Or is it just a-
- No, it feels more of insights 'cause it doesn't have a physical impact, not yet. I get the physical impact when I'm connecting to someone. It's like thoughts that are coming in. It's feelings that I'll get. I'll get sad or I'll get really angry or I will feel very betrayed. So I'll start to get impressions as I'm going somewhere. Whether it's to do readings or maybe it's just to the grocery store, I'll start getting these impressions. If it's something that I don't want to feel is when I'll make noise. I will try to distract myself and try to really focus on just kind of blocking. But the moment that I get into contact with someone, I walk into a building. Because the building, it's not real. It's just these cells, these atoms that are moving a little bit slower, making it more dense. But energy moves in and out. So the moment that I get into the building is when I'm like, "Okay, I'm gonna be aware. I'm gonna be aware of what is going on." And I'll start to go ahead and scan, start to receive, what do I need to know that's pertinent for me? If it's not information that I need to know, then I don't wanna receive it. But if there's something that I can do, some healing, some insight, then I need to know that. Oftentimes when people come into readings, they'll sit in the lobby, I'll open the door and the moment that I greet them, I'm receiving. I'm like, "Okay, who's coming in with you? What do they need to say?" And we'll sit down and I will start with that 'cause they're already talking.
- That's so interesting. I wondered if it was something that you could turn off and on.
- I can tune it down. It's like a radio that you would have in the kitchen. You can always have it on, but you can kind of tune it down.
- Is it hard for you to keep things to yourself? Again, using this example, I mean you walked into a room, you met a person out there, you have two people behind cameras here. You've got me here. Like you've got all of these things happening around you. Do you have to exercise great self control to keep it in"
- I don't know if it's quite that. I feel if something needs to come out, if I need to say something. And I implicitly trust what I get. I always have, I implicitly trust that. So I know that if Spirit is giving me something, then I need to be able to express it. But at the same time, there are places. If I'm in a big crowd and there's a lot going on, I probably won't do that. So I'm also very, it's a balance. It's a balance of what I'm receiving and trusting and also, Frank you're at a funeral service. You probably don't wanna tell them that that person is there. It may not be the right time. So it's sort of, I guess like a balance of each situation. 'Cause at least my goal is to heal, is to bring about the most amount of light and the most amount of healing. And it could be very disruptive if someone's going through their grieving process and you're at the funeral and you're like, "I just wanna let she's fine. She's there, she's da, da, da, da." They don't get to grieve. And that's really important.
- I'm just so fascinated by all of this. It really is so interesting to me. And I know based on just your personal story, you did work as a teenager with the police department. I mean, how do you even get into something like that? And for an agency to recognize an ability, what was all of that about?
- I'm working with a couple of different investigators even now on stuff. It was through a neighbor. A neighbor's mother worked as a dispatcher and I would go and do readings on Sundays with my little cards, and she had told one of her bosses, "He can see things."
- Just throwing it out. And they were like, "Whoa, we're not gonna pay him." And I wasn't even, but she was like, "Well, let's just see what he can do." And they would give me pictures of people and I would give them the story that I got in my head.
- And so it does work that way for you? You can see a picture and then you can create the whole thing, or at least I should say not create, but give the entire thing.
- What happens now when people have something that they're gonna buy, they're gonna buy a house or a piece of property, I have clients that will come up and show me a picture of their property. Do I need it? Not really. They can just tell me and I will focus on it and I will give them the information that I get. But that's kind of how it started. It's also how, for 16 years old, it's really heavy. It's a hard thing for-
- Well, even as a four and five and six-year-old, or I can't imagine having to deal with that, 'cause then you don't even know what thoughts are your own. So how do you differentiate that?
- Right, and so what I realized is I thought I was more mature and I could handle it more and I couldn't. I have a tendency to go far and then to go, "Wait a second. You're not ready for that yet." I will try to maybe overachieve and go, "I can do that." And then it's to my detriment. So I did that for about a year and then I stopped and I was like, "This is really weighing on me." When you can't figure something out, when you can't heal, when you can't help, that's when it's hard. Because on one hand I have these abilities and I know that I can do it, but I'm not getting any resolution and the case is not moving forward and what am I doing wrong?
- Oh yeah.
- And it's like, "Okay, we need to pause this." When I work on cases now, I have people scheduled just like anybody else. Go through my assistant, don't give me any information, schedule the session, it's free of charge, you come in and that way I can control the energy because I don't also wanna be bombarded with what I'm feeling. I don't want to have to go to where a murder happened or something.
- Oh gosh. I can't imagine.
- And all that heaviness staying with me. I can give you the information that I can give you just fine and still maintain the integrity of my energy. You don't want it to impact you negatively either. It can be depleting.
- When you went into the military, how did people start finding out you had this ability? And was it a party trick? Was it like a drinking game? I need to know.
- Okay, so I've made a lot of mistakes with my psychic abilities as well. When I was stationed at Fort Campbell, we would go to the bar and we would see guys that were really cute and I would go over there and I would be like, "Da da da da da da da," to get them to pay attention to me. Now, looking back at it, it's sort of abusing your ability. Like Frank, you can't really do that.
- That's probably why Johnny, he said to you-
- He's like, "We could shut it off."
- But I had to learn. You gotta balance it out, right? So when I first got to Fort Campbell, I got there July of, I don't know, 2001, and I stayed at a hotel and it was before Google, they had these phone books. And the first thing that I looked at is bookstore to see if there was any kind of metaphysical bookstore. And there was called Body, Mind, and Spirit. It was run by this woman named Annette and I took a taxi over, before Uber. I go in there and I'm talking to them and that is just my home where I feel safe. Metaphysical stores tend to have very clear energy. They have crystals that hold the energy. They're constantly cleansed, people that are coming in that are searchers, so it's a really safe space. Eventually people that I roomed with in the military in the barracks would take me there. I need to go and get a crystal, I need to do this, and they found out. And I would advise people, I would do readings for them as to what are you looking for? What needs to be healed? Here's what's going on in your life. Yada, yada, yada. When 2003 happened and we were deployed to Iraq, that's where I started to do a lot of work around the land, around the pain. For years and years and years there's been war on this land.
- I mean like generations on generations on generations.
- And it's no one's really, at least, I mean, I don't know, but it felt like no one's paid attention to the land. There's been fighting on this land and land has consciousness, it wants to be worked with, it wants to be healed. So I did a lot of work at that point on listening to the land.
- Is that why you think you got back to the South and that was like your training in Iraq? The type of training you might not have expected.
- Oh, absolutely.
- Then comes here and it translates in a different way.
- What I found the most interesting thing about the South, Southerners, don't come at me, is that I didn't understand Civil War reenactments. I thought it's a little odd thing to do when you lost. So in my mind, it's like celebrating loss. And I don't know if that's really true. Obviously, I don't think it is true for everybody, but it makes that impact of holding on to pain. My intention with my work in this lifetime is to heal. I don't need to be the most liked psychic or the most liked medium or the most accurate, but I wanna bring about healing. That's important to me, to bring about light. And I feel like Spirit, whatever God is, or the Universal Spirit said, "We need you here. We need you here as a male, but as a first generation male, who is passing, who is gay, but is sensitive enough to the emotions." I was orchestrated correctly enough to do my work here because we should heal. The South is beautiful. There are beautiful traditions and there are beautiful people, but there's also pain that hasn't been healed. And it's sort of like Spirit said, "We're gonna send you to the DMZ. It's no man's land. It's not claimed by anybody. So it needs to be healed. We're gonna send you to Iraq." So when I look back at my life, how beautifully orchestrated. It's like the tide brought me here. And if I just recognize, okay, not so much why did I attract this, but what is it that I'm here to learn? What am I doing? Even coming here this morning, I thought, "Okay, it's not so much that I manifested this. I'm here to heal. Maybe I'm here to heal you with your reading or this message or anybody around us. Maybe this message is gonna come to someone months and months later, and it's gonna heal them. But you're orchestrated and guided very specifically for your mission." And some people are here to tear down and some people are here to create and I'm here to heal.
- Maybe that's who you are. You're the healer. We were talking about what your title should be and that's it, maybe you're the healer.
- I am. That that's been my intention for the longest time.
- Do you ever feel like sometimes you've gotten it wrong?
- Yes. I get it wrong when I force, and that's my natural inclination. I step in. A few months ago, I was on a Zoom call. There was a meeting that happened without me. And during that meeting, things blew up. And in my mind, if I'm there, I can mediate. I can help. I can heal. I can help people communicate. So there was a meeting that was done afterwards and I thought, "Here's my opportunity. Here's my opportunity to heal." And I went into that knowing that, knowing I'm gonna go in and I'm going to say what happened and what people felt and what we needed to-
- You had an agenda.
- And it was my agenda and it wasn't Spirit's agenda for me. So I went into that and people got hurt with my intensity. So now I constantly have to be checking myself. And it's a matter of when we talk about doing the work, do you have people that are honest with you? Do you have a spiritual mentor? Are you doing your work? Whether that is going to therapy, listening to a podcast, healing, taking a class, are you doing something to empower yourself? And also be humble because sometimes it's not mine to heal. Sometimes I want it so bad and you interject yourself and you make the matter worse, you exacerbate it. It's that balance. It's finding that balance of when is it mine to do and when is it not?
- Well, and that speaks, I think, to the human element of all of it because even if you have these gifts that force you to straddle two worlds, you still are in a human body prone to human conditions.
- With you, you're straddling. You are like-
- You think so?
- Absolutely. You're I'm here to tell others' truths and what is my truth and others' truths. Whether you are a journalist, whether you're a mom, a wife, so you have your truth and you're listening to others' truths. And how can I convey both? And how do both impact me? So the human aspect of us, we're not here to live a perfect life. We are here to refine ourselves. We are here to understand what is our work. Your work is I'm a journalist so I'm here to witness and capture. I'm also here to create connection. Witnessing something is something that is, you take yourself out of it, right? You're witnessing you're reporting. Here are the facts. Here's what happened. But also how do I create connection in my life and others' life where I'm engaged and it's that balance.
- That's so beautiful how you explain that because I have struggled to articulate that and not been able to articulate that. I've felt that way, but I never thought of it as a straddling two lines.
- It's a dance. And it's a dance that I think for all our work, sometimes we're gonna get lost in that dance and that's normal and that's human. And you don't wanna judge yourself too harshly, but you also wanna hold yourself accountable. It's that balance. And also understand that we're refining and we're giving and we're trying our best. And when we understand that if I'm trying my best, probably that person is also doing that. So let's think the best about people.
- Right, because don't you think that sets the tone? If you go into a situation, believing the best about somebody, addressing them with love, addressing them with acceptance. So interesting 'cause I feel like as I grew up that was my mom's, our mothers all have messages that they're always saying. That was one of those things that my mom was always saying, that how important love was and to believe the best.
- Believe the best.
- Don't assume. Don't assume that something's gonna happen this way or that way.
- It's easy for us to, out of our hurt go, "People are out to," fill in the blank. "Get me, take something from me, hurt me." And I'm sure that there are some people out there that may do that, but the majority of us are doing amazing. We wanna help people. When something happens like 9/11 or the Boston bombing, man, we run to that. We wanna help people. So our instinct, our nature is to help others. To assist, to grow, to have these conversations. They're gonna happen. It's just that we have to make a decision. At some point I am deciding I'm gonna be open and I'm gonna be, my energy is impacting my life and let it be a beautiful impact, and an open impact, instead of it is something that's operating out of your hurt.
- Let's talk about purpose because I feel like because you have this ability to just really help guide people and heal people, I think a hurt that we all carry until we discover purpose I think think is not knowing what we're here to do. that, that question of, do I go this way? Do I go that way? And I do think there's hurt associated with that until like whatever lightning bolt voice of God kind of moment that many people end up having where it's, "\ "This, this is what I'm, and I've been doing it all along and here's what I'm here to do." Do you feel like people come in looking to you?
- Oh yeah.
- Looking to you as a guide for purpose?
- Well, so my spirit guide told me one day, we were talking about death and the fear of death and my spirit guide said, "You've already experienced like the worst thing that you're gonna experience," and I was like, "What is that?"
- Oh, "What was that?"
- And he's like, "Your birth." He goes, "You were in this place that was beautiful. And it was warm and you were connected to love and then you're pushed out into a cold fluorescent room. You're held upside down, you're smacked. It's jarring, right? Like physical reality is jarring. And he said, "At that moment you feel so separated from love that you're looking for it." So that's what we see as my purpose is to find that love again. So we look to impact. What I find with purpose is that it's not a goal. On Tuesday, I might forgive someone and then on Thursday I might be like, "Uh-uh. F them, forget that." It's that energy of like, I'm not gonna forgive them. And then the next week you go back to it. So purpose isn't something so much that is a goal because even when you're like, "I am here to act. I'm here to write music. I am here to build." Even when you do that, there are gonna be days where you you're gonna be like, "But what else? But I'm not feeling it." And that's okay. That doesn't mean you've lost your purpose. We often think purpose is something that you're doing physically. It's what you intend. If my purpose, my intention is love, then it's gonna show up in everything that I do. But if it's something that purpose is external, it is my job, that's not gonna fulfill you 'cause the physical world is not meant to fulfill you. So what is your purpose? My intention, how I'm showing up.
- I love that. I love that. Because purpose can feel like such a heavy word and you just broke it down to make it so much less heavy. Intention's great.
- I think it's an intention, and it's an everyday choice because our jobs run out. At some point we turn at sixties or something, we retire. And if we held onto my purpose as an attorney, well that's over, that identity no longer serves you.
- Oh how interesting.
- It can be really dangerous.
- Well, and I think you see that with women, too. Women who decide not to work, women who decide to stay home with kids, and that was an external purpose, an external identity. That's interesting. When was the best time in your life?
- The best time in my life, I've had a lot of best times. I would say the best time in my life, a client of mine, I was living in Clarksville about the time, and a client of mine had said, "There is a church down in Nashville. I think it would be great for you." And I really resisted it at first. I grew up in church. It's just not a thing that I did, but I ended up going to it, a unity church. And I met a woman through there and we had a lot of conversations. And one of the most, I would say impactful, the best point was when she reminded me every decision that you're making impacts your life, your energy, every choice that you're making. And it wasn't scary. It was beautiful. It was really empowering that my energy is impacting my life and others, and it gave me such inspiration. And that really was something that really inspired me. This was about 14 years ago. It's the same time I met my partner. So it was just an amazing year, but I had really lost my footing before that. And it sort of, kind of broke me out of that. Took me out of that searching space.
- When was the worst time in your life?
- Forgetting myself. I joined the military out of high school and I joined on a dare. There was a lot of things that were going on. I had done readings before, I had a stalker through that, I stopped doing readings, I'm 17 years old at the time, I graduated high school, I didn't know what was gonna be going on. And I told my brother, like, "A friend of mine wants me to join the military. I think I should do that." And he was like, "You're not gonna do that." And I was like, so I did that day. I signed up and joined and I ended up in Korea at the JSA, which is the de demilitarized zone. And being in that pain of the land, the war, and then leaving that and going to, I got stationed at Fort Campbell. 9/11 happened, the year after we went to Iraq, it started sort of a downward spiral of forgetting who I was. being in a lot of anger, pain, being on land that was very painful. There was a lot of war, a lot of strife. Coming back from there, I needed to cope. I started to drink a little bit more. Really forgetting who I was. I was becoming very resentful and sad. It took a lot of people helping me out, many hands to really lift me up and be like, "You're better than this."
- "This isn't you."
- "We see the best of you and this is not it." But I think what I learned through that is when I forget who I am, when I forget who I am, when I'm around all of this pain, I can succumb to this pain. And it's very easy to do that. Or I can try to be lifted and it's hard to be supported by others when you're in a space where you don't want help.
- How did you eventually get out? Was it the help of others?
- I had people that reminded me, my assistant now, who's my best friend, Peggy, really helped me to give me voice, give me a home, help me heal. I had friends that helped me heal. And partially identifying, identifying that this isn't just my pain. I was in places that had a lot of pain. I was at war, that was of fun. I did not wanna witness these things. I have always stood for life. I wanna bring light to things. And so when you feel like you're a part of that, it can feel like a self-betrayal. And then not wanting to say that because I'm first generation American. I want to help this country and help my people and then feel the pain and getting lost in that. And having people to be like, "You give life to others, what are you doing?" At some point I also had a friend of mine, Teresa, who's like a mentor, she's a psychic medium. And she said, "You're supposed to do readings." And I was like, "Girl, I don't wanna do no readings." She goes, "You're psychic." I didn't tell anybody. I met her at a metaphysical store. And with her, she was like, "If you get back into your spiritual practice, you'll remember who you are." Meditation, crystal work, affirmations, and really just self-care really reminded me like who I was. But I had to go through that downward spiral of like, I don't wanna be here, this is not fun, people are mean, and they're horrible and they suck, to remind me like the beauty that we possess. So even now when I see people fighting, I'm like, "You're not really angry. You're just heard at some level and you need to be heard. What is it that you need to be heard about? What is gonna heal you?" But it took me a lot of healing, therapy, meditation to really kind of reclaim myself, reclaim my message, my life.
- Yeah, would you say that that was a turning point for you?
- Yeah, I've had a lot of turning points.
- Okay. Tell me one that's major.
- The major turning point for me was so maybe about six, seven years ago, maybe a little bit longer than that. I can get very disillusioned. The work that I do is I'm looking at what is going on in your life. What pains, what information can I give you to help you out? And I can get lost in that humanity of this person is being a shit or I'm really getting tired of when is my boyfriend gonna leave his wife? It can get a little bit like, and one, the major turning point I had, I love Centennial Park. Centennial Park is to me a space of inspiration, 'cause you can just park and see life being witnessed. People running people, looking at the Parthenon, they're playing Frisbee. It's just life in action and life in action will always inspire you. And at that point, I had someone that said you had to make a decision. "Frank, you have to make a decision on what you're choosing. You can either choose to feel like everyone's against you or you can choose that everyone is a messenger for you." That really gave me a lot of inspiration. That was a major turning point for me, where I thought we have a choice. Every day we have a choice. I can get up and I can be the best version of myself. Life is gonna happen. Stuff is gonna happen, right? You're gonna have someone cut you off in traffic. You're gonna have Karen at the coffee or cafe or whatever, things are gonna happen, but how I respond and if it's taking energy away from me, that's my choice. And if I can afford a little bit of grace to someone, a little bit of kindness, if I can give them, maybe they're cutting me off because they're going to the hospital, I don't know. If I can give them a bit of grace and generosity, then it's gonna empower me more because we don't always know what another person's walk is. And being spiritual to me is really being open to making a choice every day, every moment, every hour, it's not easy, no one said it's gonna be easy, but you make a choice to be the best version of yourself. And some days you're gonna be incredibly successful and some days you're gonna learn-
- You're gonna learn
- That's what it-
- It'll be a growth opportunity.
- It is, it is. I'm like, there's no failure, you're just learning.
- What is something about your nature that you've overcome or you continue to overcome?
- I know who I am. When I was a kid, I was extremely shy. I have an older brother, an older sister, me, and my younger brother. So everybody kind of has their place, the older boy, the younger boy, the girl. So I was kind of tossed in the middle and I was really sensitive, very emotional, a natural daydreamer, I wanted to escape. And so I didn't really have a lot of power. I was a good student. Keep your head down. But I had others' expectations. At some point in my healing process after I had gone to the military and I decided do my work again, I had to decide who I was, what values do I stand for? What principles do I stand for? That gave me power. Now I can walk into a room and be who I am and not be not confident or not know how to show up. I show up because there's only me and that's the only way that I can gift this world is by being me. So to me, it's a practice, and it's not living perfectly, but it's living refined. I constantly am refining are these values still helping me. So I really went from this sort of people didn't know me. On one hand, I was this really kind of meek, quiet child, and then went through this rebellious stage. And now I show up as me, naturally authentically who I am, and I choose that every day. So I would say confidence level, but what I would really say is my presence. That's what's really changed. That's what I have overcome in my life, being fully present.
- Thank you for doing this.
- I love doing this. This is fun.
- We should do it again. Would you wanna do it again?
- Yes, yes.
- Okay, great. So you're on tape committing to do another episode with me.
- Okay, oh shit.
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